I am here because I feel very censored at the other places where I blog. In fact, I usually don’t even blog at those sites anymore. My family is connected to most of them and I feel if I really let loose with some of my feelings, thoughts about my illness, my abuse, it will hurt them. It DOES hurt them, and that is the last thing I want to do. So I am here, hidden from the prying eyes of my sisters, my oldest daughter, and it feels good. It is not that I don’t love them, I do, more than the world. I feel free again, like I can actually breathe. I also have a few “stalkers”, yes real stalkers. I feel like now, with a name not at all associated with my usual online names, I can be free of them too. Ah, what a relief this is going to be.
My life has been a mixture of horrors and phenomenon, lots of sadness, some happiness. As I blog about the things that happen in my life some will believe, some will totally understand, some will be skeptical, and some will not believe at all, but all in all, it is just my life, bizarre as it is.
I am not feeling the best today, I am going to take a nap now, so I can hopefully feel better and actually do my radio show tonight. I missed last night and I always feel bad when I have to do that.
There is no better freedom than the freedom to be yourself. Sometimes that freedom has one or two friends involved and sometimes it’s all alone. I think what we both have to get from our personal blogging is the idea that it’s about purging first and sharing second. I will tell you this right now: I will not ever judge you for what you write here even if for some reason you want to express something about *me*… cramping someone’s style or expression is simply against the rules. Hey, the truth sometimes hurts..but if we are the owners of that truth and the only way to bleed it out is by sharing it in simple thought in a simple blog, then bless it, honor it and for the love of God respect what the blogger has to say. We are the sum of our experience, and we have only our expression to make sense of it…whether that sense is just for us or for the few people who may read our blogs.
God Bless you and know you have my ultimate love and respect.
I am glad you have a space were you can write whatever is on your mind without the worry of having to be concerned who is reading it.
First off I want to thank you for allowing me to read your personal blogs. I really do appreciate being able to read about your life.
Even though we have been friends for a short time, talking with you I feel like I have known you so much longer. We clicked as friends right away.
As time passes I look forward to our friendship growing even stronger everyday.
I am starting with your first blog post on here and working my way forward to the current blog post. I plan to leave comments along the way. I have no doubt your blogs will effect me in different ways. Some of your blogs will probably even bring up memories from my past. I welcome any emotion that come from reading your blogs. If your blogs do trigger some of my emotions and memories from my past then they will no longer be bottled up, but released and finally dealt with. I only wish I had the courage to blog as you do.
Take care my friend,
Christal